Get to Know Them First
Sometimes, you have limited time to spend with the person who caught your eye. Maybe you spotted them in a bookstore or ran into them while getting some groceries. In this case, you don’t have time to get to know them very well, but it’s still worth doing a little digging to find out whether you two could be a match before you ask them on a date. If they’re in a specific section of the bookstore, you could ask them to recommend a book in the genre they’re looking at, or you could venture a guess as to what they’re cooking for dinner. Starting a conversation will give you crucial information about whether your personalities mesh well, even if it’s a brief conversation.
If you will see the person again, there’s no reason to rush into asking them out on a date. Spend some time with them platonically, and when you eventually do ask them out on a date, it will come as less of a shock.
Don’t Use Lines
The truth about pickup lines is that they don’t work. Why? So many reasons: at best, they’re cliched and a little bit lazy; at worst, they can be insulting. Pickup lines are not tailored to the person you’re interested in since they can be used on anyone, so they often feel low-effort. If you feel a connection with your crush, it’s worth it to avoid the pickup lines and say something sincere instead.
Have a Thoughtful Plan
Pro tip: don’t ask someone who you know is terrified of heights to go skydiving. When they say no, you won’t be sure if they aren’t interested in you or if they just don’t want to go skydiving. This is one of the reasons it’s important to get to know them a bit before asking them on a date and why having a conversation with them first is so clutch!
If your crush was wearing a band t-shirt when you asked them out, find out if they have any upcoming concerts in your area. Or, if they mentioned they’ve been wanting to learn how to cook a specific dish, consider asking if they’d like to take a cooking class together.
If you don’t know the perfect date you’d like to take them on, it’s probably best to circle back to tip number one and start spending more quality time with them before making your move. If you’ve spent quite a bit of time with them and you still don’t know what would make for a fun date, ask them. Let them know that you’d like to plan something you would both enjoy, offer up a few suggestions, and then let them pick. That way, you’ll have the best time possible, and you won’t spend your time together worried about whether your date is having a good time.
Look Your Best
You don’t need to be a supermodel (or even conventionally attractive!), but looking your best will come in handy. If your crush already likes you, they will appreciate the extra time you took to get ready for them. If they hadn’t seen you in a romantic light before, looking extra great might give them the extra push they need. Further, you’ll feel confident, and that will add to your sex appeal.
It’s always a good idea to wear clean, wrinkle-free clothes, but looking good goes beyond that. Make sure you’ve recently showered, your hair is neatly trimmed (head, face, and body), and that your breath is as fresh as can be. Deodorant and lotion are also welcome additions. And don’t forget to take some time to pick out clothes that flatter your size and shape.
Be Direct
There is a lot of room for confusion when you’re dating someone these days. Situationships, label-free commitments, and undefined friends with benefits are all more common than you might have realized. But if you’re interested in someone romantically, it’s a good idea to say so. It’s the only way to ensure that you stay on the same page. If you don’t mention that your feelings have grown romantic, they may think you’re hanging out as friends. Being upfront from the get-go can prevent awkwardness later.
Accept a “No” Gracefully
You can’t win them all. So, if your crush doesn’t want to go on a date with you, it’s best to respond tactfully. Throwing a fit won’t do any good, and it will probably solidify that she’s made the right decision. Say “thanks, anyway,” and keep the rest of the conversation short.
Practice on Me
Yes, that’s right! If you want, you can practice your moves on me. The girlfriend experience is something I love to provide to clients, and we can start from the very beginning if you wish. I’ll give you honest feedback and some tips on how to improve. And then, if you want, we can go on a practice date as well! The more experience you have asking someone out, the easier it becomes. We can go through a few scenarios, and you’ll feel comfortable in no time!
Want to Learn More?
Thanks for reading this post! I'd love to talk to you more about it, and I'm also available for both virtual meetings and in-person meetings at the Chicken Ranch. Reach out to me directly at [email protected], and I can answer any questions you have or we can plan our meet together.