Communicating
If your threesome includes a partner that you’re romantically involved with, you need to have an honest conversation about what you want the experience to look like. Talking to your partner about the threesome doesn’t have to be intimidating, though, and it’s super important.
Everyone has jealousy blind spots, and the time to identify them is before the threesome ever gets started! If you have an inkling that having the third party sleep in bed with you might make you jealous, it’s important to talk through this together so that you have a plan of action. You don’t want to kick your +1 to the curb after a fun naked time, but you could always have a backup plan, like offering them the guest room or paying for their ride home after a cup of coffee and some chit-chat.
The important thing is to set some limits beforehand. Keep in mind that having limits is a good thing—it means you know yourself well and are willing to maintain boundaries. It’s a sign of having a healthy relationship with your sex life—not that you’re not adventurous! Plus, it helps maintain intimacy with your partner. Make these boundaries clear with your partner in advance. If your partner voices numerous reservations, a threesome may not be in the cards for you.
Then, make a list of things you do want to do! Any positions, toys, or fun little extras that would make the experience more intimate for you should be added. This will help you and your partner have specific moments to look forward to, adding to the sensual anticipation.
Planning
Everyone expects that most aspects of sex should be completely natural and spontaneous if they are to be any fun. But this couldn’t be further from the truth! Trying something brand new isn’t intuitive for most people, and proper planning can ease any pre-threesome nerves.
One of the most intimate things you can do during a sexual encounter is to show respect for the safety of the people you’re in bed with. During a threesome, this is a bit trickier than when you only have one other partner to interact with. Your very first threesome probably isn’t going to look like the porn you have seen. You’ll have to keep practical things on hand like an antibacterial spray for cleanup, condoms and other barriers, toy cleaner, and more. You will need to mind where your parts have been. For instance, if you’ve been fingering one person, don’t finger the next person until you have scrubbed your hands or changed gloves. Stay vigilant and change condoms or barriers whenever you change partners or body parts. No, it’s not how threesomes look in porn, but it’s safe and safety is incredibly sexy!
Extra Special Touches
Yes, a threesome might be a somewhat casual, one-time thing, but it’s the thought you put into it that makes the experience unforgettable. Making a threesome special is always worth the time and effort. I have learned how to create intimacy with clients I’ve never met before, so I know firsthand that even spur-of-the-moment encounters can become cherished memories that are full of meaning.
Having a personal connection with the third party makes a world of difference. Have a quick conversation with your +1 and ask what they like—and cover everything from music to foreplay. Play some music you all can agree on. Light some candles and grab extra pillows and blankets for support and warmth. If you don’t have lingerie, now might be the time you want to buy something extra special to wear so that you feel your sexiest. If you all match, you get bonus points for cuteness! Putting thought into the ambience will vastly upgrade the experience.
When things get hot, don’t lose your focus. Make sure that everyone has a sexy job and take turns when it makes sense. If someone turns into the designated back-rubber, that’s not fun for them. If you end up in an activity that is best suited for two people, switch the activity and reintegrate the third party. This helps avoid any hurt feelings, too.
Want to Learn More?
Thanks for reading this post! I'd love to talk to you more about it, and I'm also available for both virtual meetings and in-person meetings at the Chicken Ranch. Reach out to me directly at [email protected], and I can answer any questions you have or we can plan our meet together.